A driver is stopped by a police officer. The driver asks, "What’s the problem officer?"
Officer: "You were going at least 75 in a 55 zone."
Man: "No sir, I was going 65."
Wife: "Oh, Harry. You were going 80." (The man gives his wife a dirty look.)
Officer: "I’m also going to give you a ticket for your broken tail light."
Man: "Broken tail light? I didn’t know about a broken tail light!"
Wife: "Oh Harry, you’ve known about that tail light for weeks." (The man gives his wife another dirty look.)
Officer: "I’m also going to give you a citation for not wearing your seatbelt."
Man: "Oh I just took it off when you were walking up to the car."
Wife: "Oh Harry, you never wear your seatbelt."
The man turns to his wife and yells, "SHUT YOUR MOUTH!"
The Officer turns to the woman and asks, "Ma’am, does your husband talk to you this way all the time?"
The wife says, "No, only when he’s drunk."
调查员：What is your father's name?
小弟：Happy!!
调查员：What is your mother's name?
小弟：Smile!
调查员：Are you joking?
小弟：No!!That's my sister!! I am Kidding!!
byebye
If you old three old four,i will give you some color to see see.
如果你老三老四，我就给你点颜色看看。
Good good study,day day up.
好好学习，天天向上。
If you tiger me,i will mountain you.
要是你唬我，我就扇你。
People mountain people sea.
人山人海。
前几天听了郭德刚的一个笑话~
How are you?是什么意思~
郭德刚：怎么是你~
How old are you?是什么意思~
郭德刚：怎么老是你~
回家我给爸爸讲这个笑话~
爸爸说：那哪对，How are you是最近你好吗的意思~
How old are you是最近你老好了的意思~
我同学是某西北偏远地区的，英语发音一直不标准，老师英文也是发不准，所以学生更是一口地道的土腔英语。
话说他同学的妹妹刚上初一，学英语的积极性狂高，每天早晨天不亮就开始朗读单词，这天像往常一样，继续拼命的读，他爹就蹲在窗户底下抽烟袋。
小妹妹念“hands（音：汉子）”“hands”“two hands（偷汉子）”
他爹听完就止不住的皱眉，一大早就听见闺女要偷汉子，心想怪不得听说外国人开放，书上都这么写小妹妹继续读“hands”“hands”“two hands（偷汉子）”最后一句，差点没把老汉气歪过去，小妹妹高声朗读“俺还未偷汉子”！